Into the Weird Blue Yonder: Weird Monster Generation

I have a few different posts about monsters and weirdness that I have been percolating in my brain vat. The Weird is often chimeric. This defiance of boundaries and classification is a part of the way the Weird attacks the means by which we orient ourselves in the world. I have an essay on the subject up my sleeve. For these kinds of monsters: a table is a perfect means of generation. You might alter their flavor or goals to match the Weird Power that you want to ally this monster to or you might just let it stand. Nonaligned monsters are possible. Not everything must be a servant of a Weird Power, though these might be servants of even stranger things. These tables will be expanded, probably to 1d100s each in the final book.

by hunterkiller on DeviantArt used without permission

These are mostly meant to be evocative descriptions that you can fill in the blanks in order to create your own creatures.

This button is courtesy of the fabulous and magnanimous Angus Warman: https://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/ Give him a look!

So these tables will fill the blanks in this phrase:

a table I, table II table III with table IV that table V.

Table I (1d20):

1. tall
2. obese
3. short
4. hunched
5. shuffling
6. shambling
7. slithering
8. extremely thin
9. massive
10. twisted
11. loping
12. writhing
13. jerkily-walking
14. prowling
15. broad
16. scaly
17. dark
18. formless
19. creeping
20. still

Table II (1d20):

1. weeping
2. antlered
3. screaming
4. snuffling
5. singing
6. humming
7. shaggy
8. skinless
9. hairless
10. oddly distorted
11. groaning
12. cackling
13. silent
14. silently-screaming
15. toothy
16. masked
17. hooded
18. horned
19. bloody
20. meaty

Table III (1d20):

1. man
2. mass of flesh
3. beast
4. spider
5. insect
6. thing
7. bird
8. ape
9. corpse
10. deer
11. gelatinous mass
12. woman
13. humanoid
14. child
15. hound
16. serpent
17. bear
18. crab
19. tentacled-thing
20. fish

Table IV (1d20):

1. horribly long arms
2. ancient scars
3. alien tattoos
4. tumorous growths
5. countless limbs
6. many eyes
7. a single unblinking eye
8. an ancient weapon
9. blinking mechanical implants
10. water flowing of their body 
11. blood flowing of their body
12. no face
13. no eyes
14. no mouth
15. eyes on their stomach
16. a too-wide smile
17. hideously exaggerated sex characteristics
18. swarming insects
19. two heads
20. many mouths

Table V: (1d20)

1. eats dreams
2. steals children
3. infects its victims, turning them into something else
4. causes rot
5. feeds on sorrow
6. feeds on fear
7. is an extension of a greater organism 
8. causes mutation
9. eats people
10. drinks blood
11. hears thoughts
12. hates light
13. pretends to be human
14. lives in mirrors
15. moves in the fog
16. abducts people
17. radiates cold
18. cannot be remembered when they are not seen
19. lays eggs in their victims
20. whispers dark secrets

You might also add: "and serves blank." And roll on the table of Weird Powers.

I don't really think this is enough to truly tackle weird creatures, though. The real power to create strange creatures comes from understanding what makes the Weird so weird.

Expect probably a lengthy post on the subject sometime soon.