It's OK

The Secret  Keeper has his ups and downs which is the nature of mental illness. When he is well I don't hear from him too much. Bi-Polar disorder cyclically takes its host from high highs to low lows. In the beginning, when the person is well, one tends to think positive....maybe my person is getting better but over time one realizes that there will always be ups and downs....ALWAYS. He's in the middle of a low right now so I get things like this:

There are many times I wish I could talk to "The Hand" .

Sincerely, 

      Missing out!

I would often jokingly tell  him to talk to the hand when we disagreed......and this... 

Seriously though, I was either looking or waiting for a sign that you loved me, were in love wth me or none of the above but culdnt say, or wasn't paying attention or didn't feel the Braille signs that were there but I failed to read. Instead I did horrific things to you that can not be forgiven. I rolled over like a golden retriever crying and lost my life. I am old now if only I could be put down too. 

Ca

Damn meds, you start thinking and start making random Quail Cages. People keep asking where are the Quail?

I know you have talked to me about this before (Not the Quail Cage part).

Sincerely apologizing Your slow learner

At some point he decided to build me a quail cage. I did not ask him to. He did not inform me, thinking he would surprise me. In the home that I loved, we had a covey of California Quail that visited the backyard almost daily. I love those quail. He remembers that. My girl finally let me in on the gig. I  had to remind the man that the Boy Scout and I own a bird dog.and that it would be cruel to both  the birds and dog, plus I don't want a bird cage. Ah well!

This man was a good man and w wonderful father. He is still a good man who is very sick. I can continue to be on the receiving end of these texts. It's ok. It makes me sad but I can handle being a little sad. I don't engage or enrage. I just am a safe sounding board for a person whose brain is his worst enemy.

In a world where we set our mentally ill out to fend for themselves, I can be kind.